Whether you believe it or not, even the most beautiful and confident woman you know might have her days of feeling insecure and lesser than others. Every woman out there has a moment when her partner says or does something that might trigger her and resurface her insecurities.
What makes a woman insecure in a relationship? From a very early age, girls are bombarded with the expectations of being and behaving a certain way to be in society. Society decides every aspect of their lives –how they should dress, how they should talk, how they should laugh, and even whom they should talk to.
What women see on YouTube videos, TikToks, reels, prints, or even the entertainment industry sets up the expectation for what women should look like. These are the supposed representations of how “women should look,” and most of them are completely unattainable in real life.
This is the case for almost every woman out there and might be the case for your girlfriend/wife, too. Let’s dig in deeper to know the signs of insecurity in a woman, what makes her insecure, and ways you can help her with her insecurities.
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8 Signs of Insecurity In a Woman
Every woman is a little bit insecure. Insecurities are instilled deep into women’s minds but can be fought off with an understanding partner who does not judge her insecurities but loves her so much that he reassures her whenever needed.
So, what does dating an insecure woman look like? Let’s see.
1. She Gets Jealous
Getting a little bit jealous is normal in every relationship. It shows how much you love each other and are protective of them.
But being jealous to the extent that she needs to know your whereabouts all through the day, check who you were with, or resent any contact with other females –this might be your warning sign.
2. She Taunts You Often
If your girlfriend taunts you often, makes sarcastic remarks, or teases you in a way that makes you uncomfortable – this could be a sign that she is insecure and needs reassurance. It could be a form of defense mechanism that lets her escape from her demons, or she might even be testing you to see how you react. This could also be a result of her low self-esteem, which might allow her to alleviate herself.
3. She Expects Instant Replies
Imagine you’re in a board meeting and have to turn off your phone for an hour. When you switch it back on, you see a series of texts that say, “Why aren’t you answering me?” “Where are you?”, “Who are you with?”.
This would be the behavior of insecure women. Every minute she counts that you haven’t replied, you will be subjected to more scrutiny and questions.
4. She Checks Your Phone Often
If she constantly checks your phone when left open or even asks for your passwords and pins, this may be a sign of your woman’s insecurity. Not only is it an invasion of your privacy for anyone to check your emails and texts, but it can also cause trust issues between you.
5. She Is Emotionally Dependent On You
Emotional dependence often results in constant reassurances, attention, and validation. If your partner relies heavily on you, gets distressed easily when you haven’t talked for a while or needs reassurance often – it is a result of some deep-rooted trauma or a fear of abandonment and is a sign of her insecurity.
6. She Needs Your Attention All The Time
When your girlfriend/wife constantly needs your attention, it may be a sign of deep-rooted insecurity. Constantly seeking your attention and reassurance might suggest that she struggles with self-esteem and low confidence. Being insecure and needing all of your attention can result in bigger problems in the future.
7. She Keeps Grudges & Argues Frequently
Arguments over trivial things in a relationship can stem from deep-rooted insecurities. You may think that after a fight, the issue is resolved, but one of the most noticeable signs of an insecure woman is her ability to hold a grudge for the longest time and use it in a future argument to hurt you the most.
8. She Gets Angry When You’re Around Your Female Friends
Your girlfriend getting angry whenever you’re around your female friends or not letting you talk to them might be indicative of deep-rooted insecurity issues. This could stem from a feeling of not being enough or a fear of constant threats to your relationship. This could lead to jealousy, lack of trust, and further devastating issues.
Also read: What Are You Looking for in a Relationship
What Makes A Woman Insecure In A Relationship: 7 Key Things
Yes, every woman can be a little insecure in her relationship. It can even result positively for your relationship at one time, but being extremely insecure can damage your relationship. So, what makes a woman feel insecure in a relationship? There can be many reasons for the same, and 7 key things from these are listed below:
1. Playing Mind Games
Open and honest conversations are crucial in any relationship. Manipulating your girlfriend through sweet talking, making her believe in your excuses, or having inconsistent communication can deplete the trust and is one of the reasons that makes a woman insecure in a relationship. For her to constantly second-guess your motives can leave her emotionally unfulfilled and can trigger insecurities in her.
Playing mind games with your girlfriend may give you a momentary benefit, but in the long-term, it can damage your relationship and would have adverse effects on her mental health.
2. Lying Or Keeping Secrets
Everyone is entitled to have their secrets. But if these secrets extend to hiding your phone from your partner, keeping your mobile face down in her presence, not checking your emails and texts around her, or having huge gaps in timelines where she can’t reach you or knows where you are can contribute to your girlfriend being insecure in your relationship.
If she isn’t able to reach you frequently or has figured out your lame excuses before, she might think that you have something to hide. This could also trigger her insecurities, especially if she has some past issues or has been cheated on.
3. Ghosting For Hours Or Days
Ghosting in a relationship would mean a sudden departure or no communication from one partner without any explanation or closure. If you ghost your partner for hours or days at a time (especially in times when you judge your partner’s loyalty and commitment by seeing how fast they reply to your texts), you’ll end up straining your relationship.
This ghosting can lead to anxiety, fear of abandonment, and a stage of confusion, which can make a woman insecure in a relationship. Having major issues and being triggered by no replies for even a few hours could be a result of some past experience.
4. Complimenting Other Women
In your girlfriend’s mind, she is the center of all your attention and the receiver of all your compliments. She is so special to you that you cannot be ever distracted by any other woman in the room.
Even if you make a passing remark about another woman in the presence of your partner, this can stir up her insecurities. In addition to you, giving compliments to other women can make your girlfriend feel “less than” others and trigger her insecurities.
5. Not Showing Her Love And Care
Not showing your girlfriend love and care in your relationship can instigate feelings of insecurity and being not enough. With the gestures of love and affection being absent in a relationship, this can lead to a lack of emotional satisfaction and give rise to feelings of fear and anxiety in your girlfriend.
You not showing her love and care can make her feel insignificant in the relationship and can create doubts and uncontrollable fears in her mind, which will ultimately adversely impact her self-esteem and increase her insecurities.
6. Spending Too Much Time With Other Women
Too much time enjoyed with women outside a committed relationship can set off feelings of insecurity in your girlfriend. When you spend more time with women who are not in your family, it may be a signal of your emotional unavailability or lack of commitment.
Spending too much time with other women could cultivate the feelings of not being enough for your girlfriend. This would ultimately result in a stretch on your relationship and may be a cause for many mental issues and insecurities for your girlfriend.
7. Her Past Experiences
A person’s past experiences contribute a great deal to their future. Having bad or traumatic past experiences can alter the course of your life and can mold you into another person altogether. Insecurities in women are prevalent and majorly stem from unacceptable and traumatic past experiences.
It can be possible that in her past relationship, or even at home, she may have been made to feel that she is less than others or is not ‘good enough’ for being who she is. With these kinds of experiences, even the smallest things that a person wouldn’t pay heed to can trigger anxiety, and this is what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
11 Ways Men Can Help Women Deal With Insecurities In A Relationship
While both partners play an important role in a relationship, men can play a crucial role in helping women deal with insecurities in a relationship. To help you deal with your girlfriend’s insecurities the following are some ways that can help men deal with their girlfriend’s insecurities.
1. Be Honest
Being transparent and honest is very important in any relationship. Being transparent and honest about your whereabouts, intentions, and actions can make your partner trust you more, and you would be more confident in believing that you have nothing to hide, which would ultimately help her in elevating her insecurities.
Being consistent with honest communication is necessary. Conversing with transparency one day and being dishonest the other can create more problems in the relationship and also harm your girlfriend’s self-esteem and mental health.
2. Be Romantic
Keeping the romance alive is crucial in relationships. Reminding her frequently about your love, randomly giving her compliments, and making small gestures can be a huge deal to girls. Leaving small notes and flowers, planning surprises, and having frequent dates show your thoughtfulness and that you care about her and your relationship.
These would help your girlfriend be reassured of her worth and your love for her. Little gestures made by you would increase her trust, show your commitment to the relationship, and help her alleviate her insecurities. With your set example of how she should be treated, she might even develop a healthier self-image and express her vulnerabilities and insecurities without any fear of judgment.
3. Address Her Concerns
Addressing your girlfriend’s concerns and insecurities is paramount in a relationship. Giving her a judgment-free space to talk and express herself would let her be more vulnerable and acknowledge her feelings. Being patient and validating her feelings would give her a sense of security and positivity that her feelings are valid and she is not in the wrong place.
You should show empathy towards her and avoid getting frustrated even if you think that what she is saying isn’t true. You need to be patient with her and understand that overcoming insecurities takes time and effort, and she needs your support to overcome this and be confident in herself.
4. Give Her Reassurance
Reassuring your girlfriend is one of the easiest ways to help her deal with her insecurities in your relationship. Whether she is insecure because of her past experiences or has self-esteem issues, repeatedly giving her reassurance can help a great deal in alleviating her insecurities.
Rather than dismissing her concerns, you need to empathize with her and understand the root cause of her insecurities. Acknowledge her vulnerabilities, try to help her alleviate those, and compliment her often to build her self-esteem back and make her comfortable with herself.
5. Compliment Her Often
Complimenting your girlfriend is not a big task. Regular compliments made by you can boost her self-esteem and make her more confident in herself. Complimenting your girlfriend also reminds her of your appreciation and love and creates a sense of security in the relationship by making her believe that you are still attracted to her.
Complimenting your girlfriend would help her appreciate her worth and would increase the emotional intimacy between the two of you. Feeling emotionally connected and knowing that she has your support would help her in alleviating her insecurities as she will know that she is loved and cherished.
6. Know Your Limits
Knowing your limits is crucial for every relationship and should go both ways in a relationship. To know “your” own limits, that is, what you are comfortable with. Understanding your own physical and mental boundaries will let your girlfriend be more comfortable with you and will also permit her to make her boundaries without any fear of judgment or saltiness in the relationship.
By recognizing your limits, you would reduce the unnecessary stress that might affect you and would, in turn, save your relationship from unwanted strain. This would make your partner trust you more and ultimately help her in alleviating her insecurities.
7. Avoid Talking About Your Ex
While you are talking to your girlfriend or are talking to someone else in her presence and you happen to mention your ex frequently, even if not intentionally, this could be a huge factor contributing to your girlfriend’s insecurity in your relationship. She would either intentionally or unintentionally start comparing herself to your ex. This would make her feel that she has to measure up to her standards or be better than her to be with you, which creates insecurities in her mind.
Respecting your partner’s comfort level and avoiding the topics that they are uncomfortable with, if it’s not necessary, can help a great deal to them in being secure about your relationship.
8. Do Little Things That Make Her Happy
Insecurity in a relationship can stem from even the littlest things, including self-doubt, past experiences, or communication issues. These gestures could be words of affirmation, small intimate plans, spontaneous movie nights or dinners, or anything that makes her happy.
These small gestures show that you care and express your appreciation towards her. This would help strengthen your emotional connection and build trust among both of you. Knowing that you care about her and pay attention to little details would help her alleviate her insecurities and boost her self-esteem.
9. Introduce Her To Your Female Friends
By introducing her to your female friends, you are encouraging a sense of transparency and honesty in your relationship, which would assure your girlfriend that you’re not hiding anything. Seeing you interact with other females in a friendly and respectful manner would also give her a sense of certainty that you’re fully committed to her.
Moreover, knowing that you’re comfortable and proud in introducing her to your friends would also boost her self-esteem and make her understand your appreciation and commitment towards her, eliminating the ingrown doubts and insecurities.
10. Don’t Compare Her With Other Women
Comparisons can never be good for anyone, especially in a relationship. Constantly being compared to another person can adversely affect one’s self-esteem and confidence. Comparisons lead to feelings of not being enough and mistrust among the partners.
If you’re comparing your girlfriend to any other woman, she would be of the view that you admire the woman more than her and do not value your relationship.
Avoiding any kind of comparison would help you both build confidence that you cherish and value her and do not have anything or anyone to hide.
11. Spend Time With Her & Stay Connected
The importance of spending quality time and staying connected through and through are two of the most crucial aspects of any relationship. Spending time with each other is essential for building a stronger bond and making memories together. If you’re keen on spending time with your girlfriend, she will be assured that the relationship matters to you, as it does to her, and that you are committed to her fully.
Just spending time and talking to each other, without any fear of judgment, and being vulnerable with each other would allow her to express her emotions and insecurities more freely, on which you both can work.
Now you know what makes a woman insecure in a relationship and what might be the faults at your end in making her feel insecure. Honest communication between the both of you can be the best solution to convey your vulnerabilities and avoid any problems in the future. Transparency and communication can even help you uncover the root cause of your issues and help you overcome them. Getting professional help is another way to talk and get past your issues.
Insecurities can ruin even the healthiest and most loving relationships if not communicated and overcome. Try out all the measures possible to recognize the symptoms and get past them.