Have you ever made those ‘forever’ promises to always be there for each other through thick and thin? But then comes the reality check as you enter a long distance relationship. While every normal relationship has its challenges, in the case of long-distance ones, distance makes it tricker.
“Can I trust my partner when they aren’t around me?”
“Do they miss me as much as I miss them?”
“Can I trust myself when I’m not with them?”
“What if I get carried away?”
“Will time zones mess things up?”
These questions bug you constantly. So, if you’re in a long distance relationship, you need to know why long distance relationships fail. Once you know the possible causes, you can avoid them and keep the promises you’ve made to your partner. So, let’s get to them!
You may find it helpful to explore what is considered a long-distance relationship to learn its essentials.
Also read: What is Considered a Long Distance Relationship: All You Should Know
21 Reasons Why Long Distance Relationships Fail
The common reasons why most long-distance relationships fail are given below.
Lack of Communication
Communication is the foundation of any relationship. It becomes even more crucial when physical distance is involved. If you don’t talk enough, you might misunderstand each other. You feel like you’re being ignored, and your relationship might fall apart.
How to fix it: Stay connected to each other. Make time to video chat, send messages often, and be honest about your feelings.
Lack of Trust
Trust is vital for any relationship to thrive. When you are miles apart from your partner, trusting each other becomes essential yet difficult. If your partner doesn’t answer your calls, you might wonder, “Are they with someone else?” or “What if something happened to them?” or “Are they avoiding me on purpose?”
How to fix it: Refrain from jumping to conclusions. There could be many reasons why your partner might not answer calls. It’s nothing to do with them being unfaithful. Talk to your partner about your feelings, listen to their concerns, and work together to find solutions.
Different Expectations
It’s common for long-distance couples to drift apart over time. If you and your partner want different things or don’t communicate enough, it can cause fights and make you both unhappy.
How to fix it: Talk openly about what you expect from each other early on. Try to find a compromise point where you both feel understood. Keep talking and adjusting your expectations as your relationship progresses.
Feeling of Loneliness
Being far apart from your partner can make you feel lonely and cut off from them. This can impact both of you’s overall well-being.
How to fix it: Though you can often feel lonely without your partner not being around you, you can always stay in touch in this digitally-equipped era. Stay involved in each other’s lives. Be there for each other when things get tough. You can also talk to friends and family to deal with loneliness.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy is crucial in a romantic relationship. Whether it’s holding hands or a gentle forehead kiss, it deepens the bonding between couples.
But in a long distance relationship, you will miss the physical touch of your partner.
How to fix it: Find ways to show affection even when you’re apart. Try to visit each other whenever possible.
Financial Strain
Long-distance relationships can be costly with travel expenses, causing financial stress.
Whether you’re buying plane tickets or booking accommodations, these costs aren’t easy on your pocket.
How to fix it: Look out for cheaper options. You can plan your visits during off-peak times. When you’re finally meeting each other, focus on quality time together rather than expensive gestures.
Growing Apart
Couples tend to grow apart in a long-distance set-up. They feel emotionally disconnected due to the physical distance.
How to fix it: The only way to deal with it is to make a conscious effort to stay emotionally connected despite the distance. Share your feelings and experiences, and be honest with each other about your expectations from your relationship.
Lack of Support from Family and Friends
Your long distance relationship becomes harder when your family and friends aren’t supportive. Some may even bring toxicity by advising you not to trust your partner or may suggest you look out for someone else.
How to fix it: Talk to them openly about why your relationship matters to you. If they fail to understand and still disrespect your relationship, it’s time for you to find new friends.
Time Zone Differences
When starting a long distance relationship, you might wonder, “Can we find time for each other with the time difference?” Honestly, it’s tough to coordinate and communicate in a long distance relationship.
How to fix it: Find ways to work around the time gap. Set up a calling schedule that works for both of you. Text each other, which allows you to chat anytime, even if you’re not online together. Be patient and understanding with each other’s schedules.
External Pressures
Dealing with external pressures like work, education, and family obligations can be challenging in a long distance relationship. Making time for each other becomes a real struggle.
How to fix it: You have to deal with these situations maturely. Support each other’s goals and find ways to balance your needs. Stay flexible and work together to overcome challenges.
Infrequent Visits
As you start a long distance relationship, you get limited opportunities to meet each other due to work or education-related pressure and financial strain. The irregular visits make it tough to stay close in a long distance relationship.
How to fix it: Plan your visits ahead of time and make them special. Make the most of your time together to make memories that’ll keep you feeling close until your next meeting. You can also arrange for virtual dates frequently.
Lack of Shared Experiences
Long distance relationships don’t let you have the chance to share experiences and do things together. But these experiences are crucial for creating memories and making your bond stronger, even when you’re far apart.
How to fix it: Find creative ways to share experiences. You can watch movies together online, cook the same recipe at the same time, or play online games together.
Insecurity and Jealousy
When partners are apart, it’s easy to feel insecure or jealous because you can’t see each other regularly. You might overthink things, like innocent interactions on social media, and start to feel jealous even if there’s no reason to.
How to fix it: To deal with this, it’s important to talk openly about how you’re feeling. Reassure each other about your commitment. Try to avoid actions that might make your partner feel jealous, like flirting with others or not being transparent about your plans.
Lack of Commitment
In long distance relationships, commitment is essential for success. Without it, the relationship isn’t likely to thrive. Commitment means putting your partner and the relationship first, even when you’re apart. It’s about dedicating time, energy, and effort to keep the connection strong and work through challenges together.
How to fix it: To make your relationship work, it’s not enough to just say you’re committed; you need to show it through your actions. Plan for the future together, whether it’s discussing living in the same city or chasing shared goals.
You might want to check out what guys want in a long distance relationship to understand your boyfriend better.
Cultural Differences
Partners from different cultures might have different beliefs, customs, and ways of communicating. This can lead to a lack of understanding, especially in long distance relationships where communication is crucial.
How to fix it: Take enough time to learn about each other’s cultures and be open to understanding. Focus on what you have in common rather than what’s different.
Difficulty in Resolving Conflicts
In long distance relationships, it’s tough to solve conflicts because you can’t talk face-to-face like you would in person. When you have to rely on texts, it might not show how you’re feeling as well. It’s easier to misinterpret one another if you are trying to resolve your fights via texting.
How to fix it: When you’re fighting, try to be patient and listen to each other. Use video calls or phone calls for serious talks, and work together to find solutions that work for both of you. Avoid texting during such serious situations.
Lack of Emotional Connection
Emotional connection is one of the factors needed for a good relationship. Long distance relationships are no exception. This is often the root cause of most relationship problems.
How to fix it: Open up about your feelings and listen to each other. Make emotional intimacy a priority to strengthen your bond.
Unrealistic Expectations
Sometimes, unrealistic expectations of an individual can lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Partners might be disappointed if their dreamy image of the relationship doesn’t match the reality of distance, time limits, or other factors.
How to fix it: Remember, relationships aren’t fairy tales. Don’t get caught up in the idealized images you see on social media. Stay realistic about what love looks like, especially when distance is involved.
Inability to Adapt to Change
Being flexible and adaptable is key to dealing with the challenges of a long distance relationship. Sometimes, couples find it hard to adjust to these changes, which is why long distance relationships fail.
How to fix it: You need to accept the fact that change is an evident part when your partner shifts to another city or country. It doesn’t necessarily mean that their feelings have changed for you. Stay open to change and new experiences. Understand each other and make your relationship stronger.
Lack of Future Plans
The most difficult part of any relationship is not knowing where it’s going. In a long distance relationship, not having a clear plan for the future can be stressful.
How to fix it: If you are looking for a stable and secure future with your partner, talk openly about it together. Make goals and plans as a couple to make sure you both are on the same page.
Change in Priorities
Just as the world around us is always changing, people themselves change too. Their priorities, values, and goals may shift as they grow and experience new things in life.
How to fix it: Deep conversation can help you understand each other better and be more empathetic. Being ready to change expectations and make compromises on both ends can solve such conflicts.
Also read: What Kills Long-distance Relationships and How to Save it
Final Words
As we wrap up, it’s important to remember that despite the hurdles, many long distance relationships succeed. There is no magic formula for the ones that pass the test of distance. It simply works due to the dedication of couples committed to making their relationship work.
Throughout this article, we’ve explored the reasons why long distance relationships fail and provided practical solutions to overcome them. Even though the road ahead may be tough, hold onto the belief that your love will triumph in the end. Stay hopeful and committed to making it work together. And who knows, maybe your love story will someday become a fairy tale.
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