Thomas Haynes Bayly once said, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” It’s true. If your love can stand the test of time, well, it can stand anything. According to reports, approximately 60% of couples make long distance relationships work.
That being said, long distance is difficult to survive because you continually miss the person you love. It doesn’t matter if you are at work or just lazing around at home; everything reminds you of them. Plus, the need to see your partner can be exhausting, especially when you don’t understand what your partner wants.
It’s not just the ladies who expect things from their partners; guys have their desires too! However, it’s a well-known fact that guys, in general, are not always as vocal about their emotions. This communication gap might leave you wondering about what he truly wants and expects from the relationship.
At some point in your relationship, you might even get frustrated and ask him outright, ‘What exactly do you want?’ and you’ll still not get a proper answer. So, the best thing you can do is try figuring it out yourself.
Continue reading as we talk about what guys want in a long distance relationship to help you understand your boyfriend better and to make things work properly. But before we get into that, let’s first discuss what kills long distance relationships so that you know the things you need to avoid doing.
What Kills Long Distance Relationships?
Doubts, insecurities, and fights are common in all relationships, but they heighten in long distance relationships. So, if you’re thinking, ‘What kills long distance relationships, well, there’s no one reason.
Long distance relationships can fall apart because of various reasons, such as:
- Not resolving fights: Ignoring conflicts or sweeping them under the rug is the surest way to ruin any relationship you’re in. Using the right means and resolving conflicts in a healthy way is important in every relationship, yes, even if that means having banters every few days.
- Not putting in any effort: All relationships require mutual effort from both partners to make them work, but long distance relationships require you to take an extra step. This means that if either of you doesn’t put in any effort to stay connected, the relationship may suffer.
- Not communicating properly: In a long distance relationship, communication is important to show your partner that you still love them. Not talking to your boyfriend properly or just talking for the sake of it can lead to misunderstandings. Make sure that your messages are not getting reduced to just ‘Good Morning’ or ‘What’s up?’
- Cheating on your partner: Physical distance can create feelings of loneliness and vulnerability, which might lead some individuals to seek comfort or intimacy outside the relationship. Infidelity, irrespective of whether it is physical or emotional, can end your relationship.
- Having different expectations: If you and your boyfriend have different expectations about the future, it can lead to fights and unnecessary stress. For example, you may be more committed to making the relationship work, while your boyfriend may view it as something temporary.
- Not being honest: When you’re apart, it’s natural to tell a few fibs, especially if they’re harmless little white lies. Making this a regular occurrence, however, is bad for your long distance relationship and will eventually kill it.
- Not having an end date: While you may be able to make a long distance relationship work for some time, it needs to have a deadline. There’s no point being in a relationship when at the end of it, you don’t see each other living together.
11 Things Guys Want In A Long Distance Relationship
With thousands of miles separating you and your boyfriend, it’s easy to feel the ache of distance and wonder what he truly wants or expects from the relationship.
But don’t worry because here are 11 things that guys want in a long-distance relationship (and most probably your boyfriend is also expecting these from you).
He Wants Constant Assurance
Insecurities are a part of every relationship, so it’s normal for your boyfriend to seek constant reassurance with the extra physical distance between you both. Telling him how much you care for him and love him will give him the assurance that you still value him and your relationship.
Regularly reminding him of your love and commitment, and letting him know that you are there for him, despite the distance, strengthens the emotional bond. This is especially important during challenging times or when the distance feels particularly difficult.
He Wants Your Loyalty
In any relationship, loyalty plays a big role in how secure your partner feels. Research shows that almost 55% of people worry that their partner will find someone else.
There’s nothing wrong with showing your boyfriend that you’re loyal and committed to him. Although, remember that while words are important, actions speak louder, so instead of just telling him you’re loyal, show him. Avoid doing things that can make him doubt your loyalty, such as hanging out with other men or ignoring his calls and messages.
Remember that cheating doesn’t always mean physical intimacy; it can also mean finding emotional comfort in someone else.
Also Read: 3 Signs That A Man Has Been Sexually Active
He Wants You To Trust Him
When your boyfriend knows that you trust him, he will feel more at ease, secure, and confident in the love you share, even when you are physically apart. It’s very simple; you just need to stop doubting him, tracking his every move, and not believing what he says.
Also, trusting your partner allows him to be more open and vulnerable with you.
He Wants You To Make Him Feel Special And Loved
Trust us; your boyfriend cherishes every moment when you go the extra mile to make him feel valued and adored. Knowing that he holds a special place in your heart brings comfort and joy, reassuring him that the love you share knows no boundaries.
Sending him surprise gifts or heartfelt letters, planning virtual dates, or posting him on your social media are just some of the many ways to make your guy feel special and loved from miles away.
He Wants Regular Communication
While you may not always feel like it, trust us, regular communication is another important things guys want in a relationship. Your boyfriend, too, might want to talk to you for hours. He wants to know about your day, about your highs and the lows. It’s just that he might not take the initiative, so you need to. Call him at night to ask about his day, give him the space to be vocal about his feelings, and just listen to him.
Also, your boyfriend understands that sometimes misunderstandings may occur, but he wants to work it out together. He values open discussions, where both of you can express your perspectives and find common ground.
He Wants Intimacy With You
Even if you and your guy are separated by distance and unable to spend time together in person, remember that you may still maintain your connection and intimacy.
So, if you’re thinking, ‘Is now an appropriate time to sext him?’ Yes! The answer is always yes. On top of that, you can also share some sexy photos with him—it’s a great way to keep things interesting and show that you’re thinking about him.
He Wants To See You
In a long distance relationship, the yearning to see each other is very powerful, and while it may not be practical to book flight tickets every time, video calls are a good alternative! There’s also something very intimate about just being on the call and seeing your boyfriend while he completes his chores.
Obviously, videos don’t make up for not being with each other physically, but we will take what we can get.
He Wants You To Make Efforts
Long distance relationships require effort from both partners—some days, he might be giving 20%, and you’ll have to give 80% and vice-versa.
Your boyfriend wants to see you making efforts to maintain the relationship, just as he does. Plus, efforts don’t always have to be grand; sometimes, just initiating conversations, making plans, or finding creative ways to stay connected shows that you value him and want the relationship to work.
He Wants Your Time
Despite the challenges of time zones and busy schedules, making an effort to prioritize each other shows that the relationship is a priority in both of your lives. No one is too busy to not be able to take out a few minutes of their schedule to talk, especially to someone they love.
All you have to do is take out five minutes from your schedule to talk to him, or maybe video call him while you’re out with your friends to let him know that you miss him. Plus, if you’re genuinely not able to talk during the weekdays, make sure to set out an hour or two to talk to him over the weekends.
He Wants Some Space
While communication is essential, excess of anything is harmful—forcing communications can lead to resentment and fights. Every one loves having some personal space and time, and you need to respect that.
Striking a balance between being attentive and giving him time to focus on his interests, hobbies, and friendships allows both of you to grow as individuals and brings a healthy balance to the relationship.
He Wants To Confide In You
There are so many things that guys keep within themselves and don’t talk to anyone about, not even their friends and family. However, that’s not the case with you.
You need to create a safe space, one where your partner feels comfortable enough to share his thoughts, feelings, and challenges. Also, make sure to ask him what he wants because sometimes all he might want is for you to listen instead of giving any advice.
7 Tips To Make Your Boyfriend Feel Special In A Long Distance Relationship
Now that we have discussed everything from what kills a relationship, and what a guy wants in a long distance relationship, let’s talk about how to make him feel special.
Yes, not being able to cuddle with your partner or getting to hug him can be tough, but it doesn’t mean that you cannot make long distance work. You just need to put in more effort, be more patient, and have trust in your love.
Here are some tips to make your boyfriend feel cherished and loved, even when you’re far apart:
Engage In Some Social Media PDA
While public displays of affection (PDA) may not be for everyone, a little appreciation for your boyfriend on social media can make him feel special. Post a heartfelt message with a cute photo together on Instagram to let the world know how much he means to you.
Even if you’re trying to keep your relationship low-key, you can easily post a picture together with your ‘close friends’ with a few love stickers and a short message.
Surprise Him With Gifts
Everyone, yes, even your boyfriend who says otherwise, enjoys a good surprise. Surprises are small gestures that can make a big impact and show him that you’re thinking of him.
You can send him something big, like his favorite sneakers, or something small yet thoughtful, like a personal, handwritten letter. Or, surprise him with food—one can never go wrong with it.
Plan Virtual Dates
Who said that dates only mean going out on romantic dinners together? The whole idea behind a date is getting to spend quality time with your partner and getting to know him better.
With a little thought and effort, you can easily convert your night-time Skype calls into romantic virtual dates. For instance, you can surprise him by dressing up, planning a candle night dinner, or simply watching a movie.
Send Him Sweet Texts Randomly
Small gestures can have a big impact, and it’s the thoughtfulness behind him that truly matters. Simple messages or unexpected calls just to say, ‘I love you‘ or ‘I’m thinking of you‘ can brighten his day and remind him of the depth of your affection.
You could also start a pact of sending each other good morning or good night texts to let the other person know that you’re thinking of him as you wake up and right before you go to bed. Regularly reminding him of your love and how much you miss him through heartfelt messages will brighten his day and strengthen the emotional bond between you.
Create A Playlist For Him
We all know that there are five ways to show love: physical touch, acts of service, words of praise, giving gifts, and spending time together. But what you don’t know is that music, or listening to music with the person you love, is considered the sixth love language.
So, make a special playlist of songs that remind you of your partner and send it to him. Make sure to include some tunes that serve as reminders of the pleasant times you’ve shared and others that you feel are fitting for your long distance relationship.
Some of our favorite long distance songs are ‘Say You Won’t Let Go‘ by James Arthur, ‘Talking To The Moon‘ by Bruno Mars, and ‘You & I‘ by One Direction.
Send Him A Sexy Text Message
Sometimes, all it takes is a short, playful message to spice things up and ignite passion. It works even better when your boyfriend is least expecting it. Even though you may not be able to do much about the distance, a naughty message can keep you running in your partner’s mind.
If you’re feeling more daring, you can also add some seductive pictures that make him crave your presence.
Give Him A Surprise Visit
If you can, try to plan a surprise visit to your boyfriend. Even with phone calls and texts, physical touch is still the most important part of any relationship.
Whether it’s planned or not, spending quality time with your boyfriend will definitely make him happier and make him miss you less when you’re apart. So, make sure to see your boyfriend at least once a year, if not more.
Start taking interest in your boyfriend’s hobbies. It can be anything from watching F1 to playing Minecraft. Just be attentive to what your guy loves doing, and start learning the knacks of it.
For example, you can ask one of your friends to teach you how to play Minecraft and then surprise your boyfriend by asking him for a match.
Trust us; this is peak supremacy! Your boyfriend will not only feel overwhelmed but also cared for and will start appreciating more. The cherry on top is that the next time he wants to play the game, he’ll call you, and you can spend time talking. So, a win-win situation!
Understanding what guys want in a long distance relationship isn’t rocket science; it’s all about communication, trust, and making him feel special. So, don’t let the distance drift you and your boyfriend apart.
Remember, love knows no bounds, and by understanding each other’s wants, you’ll build a bond that can stand the test of time (and miles.) Now, what are you waiting for? Go ahead, and plan a surprise for your boyfriend.
Also, for the men reading this article, do you have any other tips about what guys want in a long distance relationship? We would love to get some insights straight from the source! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!
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